Allah...give me strength

Assalamualaikum wbt, i guess its been a decate it seems since i updated my blog isnt it?heheokay here's the thing..:)

Allahu rabbi, Allahu rabbana...

these past few weeks..i was in a state of grace as i was very let down . I was really at the edge of breaking my self up..:( and it really hurt me so bad.painful.
 I got an imsomnia attacked.I got this too much thinking about someone i trust

Everynight i cant help but my eyes will get uncontrollable teary everytime i want to sleep, everytime i recite tafseer and everywhere i go. It is so much pain to endure and only Allah knows it all. 

Ya Rabbi, as when i get hurt i don't know where to go..so Guide me, so i can never be lost..:'(, i  always got lost in my own thought that made me cried. I cry and cry so much. It means that i cant bear it anymore.  It really is.  But You Allahurabbi, you know what is in every heart.

  i know that ive caused too much sins that ill always forget You..now i got the punishment. Its really painful.ya Rabb..ampuni hambaMu yang lemah ini, ampuni hambaMu yang mudah alpa ini..:'((
and now,  I can barely handle it.. But i know ya Rabbi, " Engkau takkan menguji seseorang di luar dari kemampuannya" i am sure You have many ways to make things better . Allah menguji sejauh mana persahabatan kami boleh bertahan, allah menguji sejauh mana kami percaya antara satu sama lain, Allah menguji kerana Dia tidak mahu kami melupakanNya, Allah  menguji kerana Dia rindu akan tangisan hambaNya, Allah menguji kerana Dia tahu kami akan dapat menanganinya dengan kuat dan yakin...Allahuakbar! allah Maha Besar! mungkin sekarang ianya sangat terombang ambing namun jika kita kuat dan bersatu hati Allah akan menjdikan persahabatan ini jauh lebih baik dari sebelumnya.. In shaa Allah, Allahumma Amin

ps : aku sangat merinduimu sahabat. Youre close yet i felt u really far away. Its hard for me to endure the pain of not approaching you like i always do. You say so.space. Isnt it.. so u could feel better. Let me just stay away  to make u comfortable with others. . Im sorry i had annoyed you all this time..:'( sorry..but don't blame me if i just can't handle my self if i just miss you so. Just give me that

O Allah ... Give me strength to face this unbearable reality!!!!!! Sesungguhnya hanya padaMu ku berserah